Carmel in the Holy Land — Mariam Baouardy

---Life of Sr Marie of Jesus Crucified ---

Childhood in Galilee

From the start, Mariam was "a miracle child ". Her parents, deeply pious, suffered a great trial: they had twelve boys who died one after the other in infancy. In their deep pain, but with full confidence in God, they then decided to make a pilgrimage on foot from Abellin to Bethlehem, a distance of 170 km, to pray at the grotto of the Nativity, and to ask the Virgin Mary for the grace of a girl. Mariam was born nine months after, on 5 January, 1846. She was baptized and confirmed according to her family's Greek-Catholic custom. The following year, a small brother, Boulos came to add to the family's joy.

But Mariam was not yet 3 years old when her parents died within a few days of each other. Her father, seeing death arriving, took Mariam in his arms and asked St. Joseph to be henceforth her father and to watch over her… that is what He did on many occasions.

Boulos was adopted then by a maternal aunt, living in a neighboring village, and Mariam by a well-to-do paternal uncle, in Abellin. Some years later, this uncle would settle in Alexandria and take Mariam there.

Two sentiments of her childhood years in Galilee marked her for life. First, her wonder at the beauty of Creation, the light, the landscapes where all spoke of God: and this was later reflected in the hymns which sprang spontaneously from her heart during certain ecstasies. Then her deep feeling that all passes; a small incident will illustrate this: once she wanted to give a bath to two small birds while playing a game, these did not resist and died. As she was burying them, she heard a voice saying : "Everything finishes in this way; but if you will give me your heart, I will be yours forever."

Alexandria

1858 : after a few years in Alexandria, Mariam had just turned 13 when she learned that her uncle wanted her to marry. But she had already decided to give herself entirely to the Lord. Threats, humiliations and ill treatment could not weaken her resolution. After several months, Mariam, desirous of seeing again her brother Boulos, tried to send him a letter through a former servant of her uncle, going to Galilee. Hearing the narration of her sufferings, this servant, who was a Muslim, exhorted her to leave Christianity and to become a Muslim. Mariam refused. In anger, the man pulled forth his scimitar and cut her throat, then abandoned her body in a dark street.

Once again, the supernatural entered into her life. She related later that she truly died at that moment, and that it seemed to her that she entered Paradise, saw the Virgin, the Saints and her parents, the Glorious Trinity. But her time had not yet come; and without knowing how, she woke up in a grotto, was cared for by a young lady who looked like a Sister, and whom Mariam had recognized as the Virgin Mary: during 4 weeks, this lady took care of her, fed her, instructed her.. then took her one day to a Church, leaving her...

From this day, she went from city to city (Alexandria, Jerusalem, Beirut, Marseille…), as housemaid, choosing by preference the poor families, helping them, leaving as soon as she was honored too much. But she was to become also in a very particular way a witness of this "invisible universe" which we believe in without seeing, and which she experienced in such a strong way.

The Carmel of Pau

In Marseille, she was put in contact with the Sisters of St. Joseph of the Apparition; she was 19 years old but looked like 12 or 13. She spoke French badly, and had poor health after all that she had lived through, nevertheless she was accepted as a postulant by the Sisters, and her joy was great to be able to give herself to the Lord. Always ready for the most tiresome works, she passed a great part of her time in the laundry or in the kitchen. But two days per week she relived Jesus' Passion, received the stigmata (that, in her simplicity she believed to be an illness), and all sorts of extraordinary graces began to appear. Some Sisters were very disconcerted, and after 2 years of postulancy, she was not admitted into the noviciate. It was this coincidence which turned her toward the Carmel of Pau.

There she was received with joy, and would always find love and understanding in the middle of all the trials that she would have to endure. Now she started her noviciate, where she received the name of Sr Marie of Jesus Crucified. She insisted on being a lay sister, being always at ease in serving others, and having difficulty reading and reciting the Divine Office. Her simplicity, her generosity conquered many hearts. And her words in this ecstasy were the fruit of her life:

"Where there is charity, there is God. If you are attentive about doing good to your brother, God will be attentive about you. If you dig a hole for your brother, you will be digging it for yourself; it is you yourself who will fall into it. But, if you make heaven for your brother, you will be making it for yourself.

She was not so perfect, and at times accused herself for her impetuosity … Gift of prophecy (for example with Pope Pius IX), attacks of the devil or ecstasies… among all divine graces of which she was filled, there was one, very strong, of her nothingness before God, and she spoke of herself as being called "the little nothing", it was indeed her being's profound expression. And this was what made her penetrate the impenetrable depth of the Divine Mercy where she found her joy and her delight, her life.

"A humble soul is happy to be despised, to be nothing. She is not attached to anything and is never irritated with anybody. A humble soul is happy, joyful always and content everywhere. She considers herself blessed and the Lord is ever-present in her heart."

Here was the source of her self surrender, at the core of the strangest graces as at the core of the most disconcerting human events.

From Mangalore to Bethlehem

At the end of 3 years, in 1870, she was sent with a small group to found the first Carmelite monastery in India, in Mangalore. The journey by ship to there was in itself a complete adventure, and three sisters died before arriving. But some reinforcements were sent and, by the end of 1870, they could inaugurate the cloistered life. Her extraordinary experiences continued without preventing her from confronting the heaviest work and the problems of a new foundation of which she was in fact the soul. During her ecstasies, sometimes one saw her with a beaming face in the kitchen or elsewhere; sometimes she participated in spirit in what happened in the Church such as at the time of the persecutions in China; sometimes the devil seemed to take possession of her, but only in an external manner, making her live through terrifying torments and fights. A lot of incomprehension began then to occur around her, even putting in doubt the authenticity of what she lived. At the end of her novitiate, she could still pronounce her Vows on November 21, 1871; but the tensions created around her ended up in provoking her return to the Carmel of Pau in 1872.

There she found again her simple life of a lay sister surrounded by the affection of her Sisters, and her soul blossomed. During some ecstasies she, though nearly illiterate, composed poems in her enthusiastic gratitude to God, poetry of great beauty, full of freshness and of a charm completely oriental, where the whole creation sings to its Creator; or in a wink of an eye she would be attracted to the summit of a tree, on a branch that would not even support a bird, by the fierce yearning of her soul toward the Lord. She was then like a witness of this transfigured universe as described by the prophet Isaiah (the wolf will live with the lamb…), or by the author of the Apocalypse (with the Woman who was clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars).

"Everyone is sleeping. And God, so full of goodness, so great, so worthy of praises, is forgotten!… no one thinks of Him!… See, nature praises Him; the sky, the stars, the trees, the grass, everything praises Him; and man, who knows his kindness, who should be praising Him, is sleeping!… Let us go and wake the universe up! "

Numerous also were those that came to her looking for consolation, advice, prayers, and that left illuminated, fortified by their meeting.

Shortly after her return from Mangalore, she began to speak of the foundation of a Carmel in Bethlehem; the obstacles were numerous, but were progressively lifted, and sometimes contrary to all expectations. A foundress, Berthe Dartigaux would be completely devoted to her; her confessor, a Father of Bétharram encouraged her and would support her until the end; finally the authorization was given by Rome. The Lord himself "showed" her the place and the construction. It was during the summer 1875 that a small group of nuns embarked on this adventure. Mariam who alone could speak Arabic was more especially charged to supervise the work; "as strong as an ox", she soon gained the sympathy of the workers, and the community could move in to the new monastery on November 21, 1876, while some work continued. She also was anxious for the foundation of a Carmel in Nazareth, and she went there herself to see the land in August 1878. It was during this journey that she identified the site of Emmaüs-Nicopolis. Back in Bethlehem, she resumed the supervision of work under a humid heat. While carrying water to the workers, she fell on a staircase and broke an arm. Gangrene set in very quickly and she died within a few days, August 26, 1878, at 33 years of age.

Mariam and the Holy Spirit

Are all extraordinary aspects of her life really so extraordinary?

She opened to us this invisible world so close to us, and which is a pure mercy of God; that was what the prophet Elisha (who, with Elijah, was considered as Father of Carmel) did to reassure his servant at the time of a seemingly unequal battle (2 R 6,15-17). She taught us by that to base all our life on "what is eternal", God alone.

The struggle against evil forces is far from being finished today; Mariam, who is called by some "Patron of Peace" for the Holy Land, is encouraging us to let ourselves be transfigured by the Lord, to become ourselves craftsmen of this transfiguration of the world by God's grace. She is witness of a world already transfigured, or better of this first day, Day One, of Creation, where the Sky and the Earth had not yet separated, but only light and darkness; this Day One, reflection of the divine Unity, where all is resplendent of this Unity.

And Mariam has especially been attracted by the Holy Spirit, this Spirit that hovered over the waters, "in the beginning." It is what she leaves us, like an inheritance while turning us toward the Spirit who, when he comes to take the place of our selfish "me" transfigures all things, "creating anew", as Isaiah says.

"Address yourselves to the Dove of Fire, to the Holy Spirit who inspires all.."

"The ego is that which ruins the world. Those who are self-centered bring sadness and anguish with them. One cannot have God and the self together…One prays, one implores, and the prayer does not rise up, does not reach God. He who has no egoism has all virtues and peace and joy."

But with the Holy Spirit, even "a drop" only, all becomes possible:

"Source of peace, light, come to enlighten me… I am ignorant, come to instruct me…
The disciples were very ignorant, they were with Jesus but they did not understand Jesus… When you sent forth the ray of light, the old disciples disappeared and were transformed; they were no longer what they were before; their strength had been renewed.
Holy Spirit, I abandon myself to you."

And to finish without truly leaving her, we can repeat with her this simple prayer which dwelt always in her heart:

Prayer in other languages

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